I know that this is supposed to be a perfume blog, but at times it also serves the writer as a cathartic release and topics can sometimes veer away from the perfumed-centric. This past Friday, my mother passed away. It was not unexpected as she has been battling congestive heart failure and her health rapidly deteriorated in the past few months. She was ready to go and was fully prepared and looking forward to the end as life it was becoming increasingly exhausting. At 87, she lived a good life. Of course, on such occasions, memories come flooding back. And it’s not always the big things in life that come to front, but instead those “slice of life” memories that will always live on. So here are just a few random thoughts and memories that make me smile:
- Mom ironing while watching “Search for Tomorrow”
- Mom’s cooking I loved: beef tongue (I can still hear the sizzle of the pressure cooker), her Christmas cookies (especially the Spritzes) and Swedish meatballs
- Mom’s cooking I hated: lutefisk (the Scandinavian folks know what I am talking about), salmon souffle and chicken soup with dumplings
- Getting yelled at not to walk on the kitchen floor as she just got done stripping and waxing it
- Mom sitting under the Oster dryer at the kitchen table
- Watching her get ready to go out…with clouds of Aqua Net wafting from the bathroom down the hallway
- As a teenager, coming home late to find her sitting on the living room floor playing solitaire. The excuse was that she couldn’t sleep. She was just a Mom wanting to make sure her son got home OK.
- Getting my mouth washed out with soap on several occasions due to my smart mouth
- Giving me a quarter to buy warm and fresh treats from the Hostess factory next to our church
- Her driving me back from weekly confirmation class and listening to WCCO radio
- Mom making breakfast with the radio on and the daily ad…”Northwest Orient…airlines”
- Being under 5 and waiting for her in the lobby of the hospital while she completed her candy striping duties. And afterwards getting a special treat of a chocolate milkshake at the hospital diner.
- Waking up from getting my tonsils out to find her stroking my head and crying
- Singing “It’s time to get up, it’s time to get up, it’s time to get up this morning…Rise and Shine” to get me out of bed
- Helping her package up her Avon orders on the ping-pong table
- Letting me decorate my bedroom with Snoopy decor
-
Saving my favorite toy, Liondy, and giving it to me as an adult (I still have him!)
I was adopted at the age of a little over one month, and throughout my life I have been asked by many if I want to find my real mother. My answer has always been that I have no interest. I have a mother…a real mother. And as she always said to me….”your special because we chose you to be ours.” I’m glad they did. I love you Mom.
The following is a link to my mother’s obituary in the Fargo Forum.
December 7, 2015 at 6:20 am
So sorry for your loss, Houndy. What a nice tribute to your mom! I have to ask – how did Liondy stay so clean and puffy because if he were mine, he would probably be missing an eye, his nose would be literally hanging with a thread and his tongue will be all mangled?
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December 7, 2015 at 6:35 am
Thanks for the kinds words Hajusurri…as for Liondy, it helps that he has a plastic head, plus as a child I was fastidious about making sure things were clean and neat. Go figure.
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December 7, 2015 at 7:13 am
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing such an intimate and moving tribute to your memories of your mother. She sounds like a wonderful woman. I love that she gave you back your Liondy!! So sweet.
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December 7, 2015 at 3:50 pm
Thank you for the kind words Lisa. My words don’t give justice to my love, but they are heartfelt.
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December 7, 2015 at 8:04 am
Your post was so poignant it made me tear up and want to call my mom — which I will probably do tonight. I’m sorry for your loss, Steve. You are in my thoughts and I send you my biggest and warmest e-hugs.
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December 7, 2015 at 3:51 pm
DO call your mom. I wish I could go back in time and make more phone calls. xoxoxoxox
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December 7, 2015 at 8:23 am
So sorry for your loss. Heartfelt hugs from NY xoxo
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December 7, 2015 at 3:51 pm
Thanks Carlos…your support means a great deal to me.
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December 7, 2015 at 8:25 am
So sorry for your loss. Heartfelt hugs from NYC xoxo
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December 7, 2015 at 8:42 am
Such a beautiful post. I am so sorry to learn of your mother’s death. Both of my parents have passed on now and I enjoy my memories of my Mom’s cooking and my Dad’s funny Tennessee sayings. Your Mom sounds like a wonderful amazing mother. You had many wonderful years with her. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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December 7, 2015 at 3:52 pm
I’m so glad that you can smile and laugh at those memories like I can. I think we’re very luck to have had such great parents. xoxoxox
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December 7, 2015 at 9:47 am
Thank you for this lovely post, Steve. I’m sorry for your loss, and I find it so heartwarming that you are recalling those simple moments with your mom that make you smile. I lost my mom in December of last year. She was 87, like your mom, and many of the things you’re recalling are similar (or even identical!) to my memories as well. The photos of your family and Liondy are sweetness itself, and your mom’s obituary is a tribute to her. She sounds like a wonderful woman, and she certainly did a great job raising you to be the man you are today. Sending you a big hug.
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December 7, 2015 at 3:54 pm
Thanks Holly…I’m just glad my mother was so loved. And 87 for both of our mom’s is incredible. We should be so lucky to live such long and wonderful lives!
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December 7, 2015 at 10:00 am
So sorry to hear of your mum’s death, Steve, but it’s great that she was able to go in an accepting state of mind – that is something we could all usefully learn how to do for when our own time comes. I loved the bullet point memories of your childhood – so very different and American, with lots of ‘social history’ nuggets to savour. It is by reliving memories of lost loved ones that we really connect with them after they’ve gone, like in that poem ‘Death is nothing at all’, about the person having slipped into the next room.
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December 7, 2015 at 3:55 pm
Thanks Vanessa…I’m not one to usually get to personal on the http://WWW…but this post was a must for me. xoxoxox
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December 7, 2015 at 10:42 am
Thank you for your post. Sorry that your mom passed. Thanx for including us in remembering the things you loved, its helps others who miss their moms.
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December 7, 2015 at 3:56 pm
Thanks for being part of the post Rebecca…my memories are special and I hope that the special relationship that I had with her comes through…it’s my simple memorial.
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December 7, 2015 at 11:23 am
So sorry about your loss. I’m glad you have do many good memories to remind you of your mom.
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December 7, 2015 at 3:57 pm
Thanks so much Brenda.
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December 7, 2015 at 11:52 am
Very sorry for your loss Houndie. I’m sure your Mum lived a happy life and 87 years is an impressive life span I have to say. She definitely will be loved forever and always remembered as cheerful and happy
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December 7, 2015 at 3:57 pm
Lucas… I greatly appreciate your support and friendship. xoxoxox
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December 7, 2015 at 12:52 pm
So sorry for your loss, Steve. It’s such a beautiful post; I could feel your love for her and, of course, her love for you. Isn’t it wonderful that so many lovely memories are with you? Through them, every step of your life, she will be with you in everything you feel or see. By the way, chicken soup with dumplings actually sounded pretty good. 😉 You are in my thoughts. Big hugs.
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December 7, 2015 at 3:59 pm
Thanks for the kinds words my dear. As for the rest of the family, they loved it. I think I despised it because every now and then you could find a bone in it. Yuck! I guess that just means it was homemade.
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December 7, 2015 at 3:35 pm
Dear Steve, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your warm memories with us: it allowed us to see your mom through your loving eyes. Take care of yourself and your loved ones and allow yourself to grieve as long as it’s necessary.
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December 7, 2015 at 4:00 pm
Thanks U. As happy as I am knowing that she’s at peace, it breaks my heart to know that I won’t be able to see or hear her again. xoxoxox
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December 7, 2015 at 3:40 pm
Hi Steve. This was a lovely post from the heart and I’m really sorry for your loss. Mums are to be cherished and you’ll have her with you always. Thinking of you and internet hugs x x
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December 8, 2015 at 4:49 am
Thanks Megan…it was an easy write because there are 100 times that many simple memories. Thanks for the support. xoxoxo
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December 7, 2015 at 4:50 pm
So very sorry to hear about your Mother. A Mother’s love and devotion is such a blessing and as you have written, the many details of that very special love are never forgotten. ..you just keep remembering more and more. Wishing you many of these memories as your Mother continues to live in your heart. Grace
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December 8, 2015 at 4:51 am
Thanks for the nice words Grace…. you’re right, in the past few days tons of memories have come flooding back. I’m glad I have so many wonderful ones to hold on to.
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December 7, 2015 at 11:59 pm
Your mom sounds wonderful, than you so much for sharing your memories of her. I am sorry for your loss!
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December 8, 2015 at 4:51 am
Thanks Nemo.
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December 8, 2015 at 3:55 am
Such a beautiful post, my dearest Hound. Your loving memories were so moving but I almost teared up at the part regarding how you’ve always had a “real mother.” She sounds like such a loving, wonderful, and kind person. I’m so sorry for your loss, my dear. If you ever need anything or just to talk, I’m always here for you. xoxox
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December 8, 2015 at 4:52 am
Thanks K…Mom was very real, natural and down to earth and that’s what made her so wonderful. I really appreciate your friendship and support. xoxoxox
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December 8, 2015 at 9:49 am
Heya S,
Losing Mum’s is fraught. Great loving post of memories so real and vivid.
Hug,
Portia x
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December 8, 2015 at 5:41 pm
Thanks for the lovely words P.
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December 10, 2015 at 1:40 pm
What a lovely tribute to your Mother. I’m sorry for your loss. I laughed about the Morning song, my Grandmother used to sing that to us and I sang it to our sons. I love Chicken and dumplings, my sons not so much. I lovd seeing your Mother through your Heart, she was an Aazing Woman.
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December 10, 2015 at 2:58 pm
She was Hazel…thank you. Geez…It almost sounds like we grew up in the same house!!!
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December 11, 2015 at 12:17 am
Oh, Mr. Hound.
Bar-oooooooooo!
That’s the sound my favorite dog makes when she is sad, and now it is the sound of my heart breaking a little bit. Thank you for sharing thoughts on your Mom’s passing. Adoption is important in my family too. “We chose YOU” is an important message that we share.
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December 11, 2015 at 5:10 am
Thanks Tiffanie…I need a smile this morning 🙂
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December 11, 2015 at 12:08 pm
My sincerest condolences go out to you during this difficult time. It sounds like you were blessed to have a lovely mother and a wonderful childhood. My mother used to sing the same song to me in the morning. I didn’t appreciate it then, but I do now.
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December 12, 2015 at 6:48 am
Thank you Edward for the kind words and support. As a teenager that song was so ingratiating (of course I always wanted to sleep until Noon!)…but as an adult, you realize how wonderfully sweet it really was.
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December 13, 2015 at 10:09 pm
I am completely heartbroken for you just reading this, Steven. Your mother sounds like the most wonderful woman in the world. Thank you for sharing the obituary so that we could learn more about her- I made a small donation to the Hospice of the Red River Valley in honor of a fellow Wii bowling lover. I will be thinking of you- please, please don’t hesitate to lean on a Virginia friend if you’re feeling up to it.
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December 14, 2015 at 4:35 am
Wow Ari….I am so touched. Thank you so much for your love and support. xoxoxo
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December 15, 2015 at 9:40 pm
What a beautiful post, and photo. I’m sad for your loss but glad you had each other for so many good years. It’s still a blow. I’m sorry.
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December 16, 2015 at 2:42 am
Thanks Old H. Even though we know when death is coming, it’s still not easy. But those wonderful memories live on and give great comfort.
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